Comedic Relationship Enthusiast Pillows

"Gee whizz, Mr. Curtis, a million dollars isn't old!"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"The blow drier is broken."

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

'The oceans are vast, yet we never go anywhere!'

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

'Hey babe, I got two tickets to the gun show, you interested?'

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

'You told me I should run the house like a business, so what am I bid for dinner?'

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

Searching for condom.

"Okay, but just a quick kiss, Joey... You did see my father's gun collection, right?"

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

'The answer is yes - I'll sign your pre-nuptial agreement.'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

"Honey, I'm home."

"You ever notice how heavy your head is?"

'How can I miss you if you won't go away!'

'That holiday I booked for my wife to the Galapagos Islands? She found her way back, so can we try another destination?'