Comedy Companions Pillows

Panic Attack

Life is for the birds.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

Lesser known greek gods,

Stand-up Romcom

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

"Move ten paces, turn, then fire. Ready?" "Dibs on the hat."

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"My dang neck is killin' me again." "That's because you left your dang hanger in your coat. Again."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

How Amazon was invented

"Well what does the GPS say?"