Comedy Couples Pillows

'Nothing to worry about, Dear, just a little accident on the information superhighway.'

Stand-up Romcom

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

'To begin with, he's from Mars, I'm from Venus...'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

Bride of Frankenstein charges her phone

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

"One more word from you and I am leaving home."

'Use a tissue, dear. There's an icicle on your nose.'

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

'You don't sniff my butt anymore.'

Applecart - "Its's just there as a reminder!"

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

'I gave him the best years of my life. That's true. Then we got married.'

Female sock walks away from male sock, saying: 'Look, it's just a trial separation, OK?'

"I want to make it with you."

"Oh my gosh babe! These cute little otters want us to play with them."

"I figured I'd start with one love handle and if you liked it, go for the pair."

'Sorry darling, I'm too tired to lift you onto your pedestal tonight.'

'When we were first married, he was all 'Cock-A-Doodle-Do.' Now, he's just 'Cock-A-Doodle-Don't.''

"You have your emotional support animal and I have mine."

Certificate in Living Room Celebrating Three Days Without Argument

"Yes, we did try to save our marriage. But, then he ran off with the marriage guidance counsellor."

"OK - I'll say it again - I love you even more than my p******* hour."

'What do you want that for? You're already going nowhere fast.'

'For those who the internet hath brought together, let no man put asunder...'

"I'll start dancing like Fred Astaire, when you stop dancing like Nellie the Elephant!"

'...I love it when you talk dirty!'

"My feet are cold. Be a dear and warm them!"

"At this point, we're only staying together for the sake of the pets."

"I can write my name in the snow. I bet you can't do that."

"Technically, I don't think you can claim to have saved your husband's life on several occasions just because you haven't killed him!"