Comedy Couples Pillows

'Nothing to worry about, Dear, just a little accident on the information superhighway.'

Stand-up Romcom

I thought I was proposing to Sally, but evidently I was challenging her to a twenty year series of debates.

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

'To begin with, he's from Mars, I'm from Venus...'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

"The secret of our relationship? Easy. She just acts as if I don't even exist."

Bride of Frankenstein charges her phone

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

"One more word from you and I am leaving home."

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

"Edgar, I'm talking to you! For goodness sake, has the cat got your tongue?"

'Use a tissue, dear. There's an icicle on your nose.'

'You don't sniff my butt anymore.'

Applecart - "Its's just there as a reminder!"

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

Female sock walks away from male sock, saying: 'Look, it's just a trial separation, OK?'

'I gave him the best years of my life. That's true. Then we got married.'

"Yes, we did try to save our marriage. But, then he ran off with the marriage guidance counsellor."

"Oh my gosh babe! These cute little otters want us to play with them."

'What do you want that for? You're already going nowhere fast.'

"OK - I'll say it again - I love you even more than my p******* hour."

'Sorry darling, I'm too tired to lift you onto your pedestal tonight.'

"Sounds like you've both been pushing each others' buttons."

'When we were first married, he was all 'Cock-A-Doodle-Do.' Now, he's just 'Cock-A-Doodle-Don't.''

"I figured I'd start with one love handle and if you liked it, go for the pair."

"You have your emotional support animal and I have mine."

Certificate in Living Room Celebrating Three Days Without Argument

"I want to make it with you."

'For those who the internet hath brought together, let no man put asunder...'

"I'll start dancing like Fred Astaire, when you stop dancing like Nellie the Elephant!"

'...I love it when you talk dirty!'

"My feet are cold. Be a dear and warm them!"

"Technically, I don't think you can claim to have saved your husband's life on several occasions just because you haven't killed him!"

"At this point, we're only staying together for the sake of the pets."