Comedy Partners Pillows

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

Stand-up Romcom

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

'Stop staring and make a wish!'

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

"That was Copernicus on the phone – he says you're NOT the centre of the universe!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

"Phil, honey, do you ever think about taking our relationship to the next level?"

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

'Doris,do you realize you are destroying a perfectly happy marriage?'

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

"He was a rescue."

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

'There you go again...constantly snagging!'

'man trouble? What you need is a big piece of cake.'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

"....'Sickness, health? ... better, worse... richer, poorer?'... how about leaving me some wiggle room!"

"But in the dream, ha ha, your family was normal, even that sociopath little brother of yours."

"When I said 'I'm leaving' this morning I meant for the office"

'Sharing the petrol costs didn't bother me, but I resent having to pay half for the condoms!'

"He's everything I want in a man."