Comedic Cautions Gifts

'Are you crazy! The nest is made of dry grass and twigs: Smoking is a massive fire harzard!'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

Boris Johnson lies his way out of trouble

To insure Rodney's safe websurfing, Thelma sets her own parental controls.

"The first week back is always the hardest"

'I hope we don't start getting competition from redundant bankers homes.'

Meals on Heels.

"I understand she's marrying him for his condominium in Fort Lauderdale."

Fisherman Funneral

Husband electronic tagging control centre - Screen reads 'Pub'

"If you had only listened to me when you were six and not eaten that dirt."

'You misunderstand, squire. All I do is guarantee that my cars are USED!'

'I didn't know I had to bring a rifle. I'm sort of new at this. Last time I went hunting it was for Easter eggs.'

Unhappy Cows from neighboring states visit California.

'Elections are easier to understand if you think of them as performance art.'

"Hello?- Anyone here?"

"You can't beat Channel 5's sport coverage."

"Connect the dots"

"We haven't been married long enough for you to reprimand my dog."

"Try to remember to flex your ankles and if possible walk up and down the room."

'I've got it in pill form, but for really fast relief from panic attacks...'

"My dad really went ballistic! I'm not grounded...I'm under house arrest!"

'I told you we should have protested against that windfarm'

It's not the Winning. It's the Taking Part that Counts. Vote Lib Dem.

"Of course it's a bad report. I have your genes to contend with!"

Jungle explorers face giant hairball.