Comedic Cautions Gifts

'Are you crazy! The nest is made of dry grass and twigs: Smoking is a massive fire harzard!'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

Boris Johnson lies his way out of trouble

"The first week back is always the hardest"

To insure Rodney's safe websurfing, Thelma sets her own parental controls.

'I hope we don't start getting competition from redundant bankers homes.'

"If you had only listened to me when you were six and not eaten that dirt."

'Let's just say, if you were meat, you'd be way past your 'best before' date!'

Husband electronic tagging control centre - Screen reads 'Pub'

Fisherman Funneral

Meals on Heels.

"I understand she's marrying him for his condominium in Fort Lauderdale."

Mortified that her hospital gown did not close all the way in the back...

'You misunderstand, squire. All I do is guarantee that my cars are USED!'

"Connect the dots"

'I didn't know I had to bring a rifle. I'm sort of new at this. Last time I went hunting it was for Easter eggs.'

"Hello?- Anyone here?"

Look at all our kids' clothing! Sneakers made in Vietnam. Pants from China. Sweaters from Thailand. Sports gear from Macau! They don't need so much stuff!! One obvious rule will stop all this consumerism. Good idea! Kids! From now on

"Try to remember to flex your ankles and if possible walk up and down the room."

With Friends Like These

Unhappy Cows from neighboring states visit California.

'Elections are easier to understand if you think of them as performance art.'

"My dad really went ballistic! I'm not grounded...I'm under house arrest!"

"You can't beat Channel 5's sport coverage."

"We haven't been married long enough for you to reprimand my dog."

'I've got it in pill form, but for really fast relief from panic attacks...'

Government a la Carte

'I told you we should have protested against that windfarm'

Jungle explorers face giant hairball.

"Of course it's a bad report. I have your genes to contend with!"