Comedic Advice Seeker Gifts

'I think your anger may derive from the fact that you're driving a minivan.'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

Man with fishing line going into water. Fishing line coming down from sky.

Breast Height Chart

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'The guys say that the stripper won't be available before our wedding...would you mind if I had my bachelor party after the honeymoon?'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

'I used to trade in futures until I learned the planet doesn't have one.'

Biological Alarm Clock.

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

Joe, this is not my idea of 'paint night at the bar.'

'Alright, alright. I had a hard day fighting crime. No need to get smart about it.'

Cat doctor to cat patient sitting on exam table 'All I'm saying is liposuction won't help if you don't lay off the tuna smoothies.'

Pirate Paddle Boat.

"When I said the surgery was minimally invasive I wasn't talking about your finances."

'That time of year, eh Ben, don't know whether to go hunting or fishing?'

When psychiatry works too well!

How cats see their home

'Will you tell the dog I live here!'

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

To insure Rodney's safe websurfing, Thelma sets her own parental controls.

"You keep him busy while I go for help."

'It's your lucky day. I just went vegan.'

'I hope we don't start getting competition from redundant bankers homes.'

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

Still hip, but not much hop.

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'