College Romance Gifts

'I'd invite you in, but I'm way too young to settle for less.'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Go team!

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

"I've decided to major in engineering...college loan debt restructuring."

"Meanwhile in Dogtown... Put your tongue back in your mouth. And pull up your pants. That’s not what your mom said last night."

'When you're in love, it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life!'

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

Bro of Frankenstein

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

'I think Benjamin like me. He linked my homepage to his homepage.'

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

"When you sit down, you get a shock. Open a book, you get a shock. Write something, another shock. It's a typical psychology class."

"I love college."

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

The morning after the night before.

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'

Enrollment limited to college varsity athletes.

Monkey Business College

'I'm giving you extra marks for the six pack.' - Dr. Jeckyl , the College Years.

'Gee, maybe there was something wrong with this college.'

'I'm writing my dissertation on Latte Sizes.'

Awesome. Now let's try this with bottles.

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

Campus Library. How was your Russian poetry class? Rhyme and punishment.

Yakademic: An academic who has been describing their research since they were asked about it over 20 minutes ago.

'I believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy and double-ribbed condoms.'