College Charmers Gifts

Bumper Sticker Show Off.

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"Check out this new store."

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

You're the olive in my martini

Don't you hate...

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

Scientists continue their research on the Hippocampus.

'May I have the key to your heart?'

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

"You have a certain kind of charm, haven't you, Mr. Beadle? Well, that's all right. I'm not totally opposed to charm."

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."

Southwick College: Basically, for the most part, usually - a meritocracy.

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

'Wow, that sounds rigorous. What are the prerequisites for living in my mom's basement?'

'So, in college what did you major in' - 'Business poetry.'

"Don’t you just love professor Dahl’s lectures on Tibetan rawhide?"

Little known fact: I spent a semester at Reed College in Portland. "Little known facts" are supposed to be momentous. Well, the little known fact is, while I was there, I asked a lady out

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

That's Roderick Sloan, the Alvin Meriwether professor of business administration, and with him is Alvin Meriwether, the Roderick Sloan professor of economics.

'Nots so hot on my SATS, but I aced my STDS.'

Undergraduate and don