College Parody Lover Gifts

"He's mad because this school doesn't have a football team, bars, or restaurants."

'Hmph. College kids.'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

'Mutation and natural selection? - That sounds awfully STRESSFUL!'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

Monkey Business College

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

'If it makes you feel any better, I gave the kid you copied from the same grade.'

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

Brighton Rocky

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

"This looks cool, Mum, a university offering a degree course in Greed."

"I guess we love Uni because we get to narrow our minds with like-minded people."

"Student unicorn"

'I got a darn D-plus, and that's WITH cheating!'

Window Sills I Have Known - Mazzy C. McCattrick

Man sees college fraternity houses 'Kappa Phi', 'Aeta Epsalon' and then 'Beta Carotene', says, 'They major in nutrition.'

'My son is away at college, majoring in communications. He never calls and he never writes.'

"Here's my final exam. My lawyer said I didn't have to answer any of these questions."

"I am dyslexic, parked in a faculty space and wore my roommate's t-shirt."

Dorothy's illiteracy becomes all too painfully apparent.

'If we could just get rid of a few of these lecturers and students, we'd have a great university on our hands.'

'Nobody likes a bartender who went to college.'

"Let me guess, you joined Alpha Delta Dogma"

'I recommend you major in something other than meat.'

The Pi Advantage

"I don't care whay they do at college, you'll scrub them off at once"

"I like everything about this neighborhood except the people who can afford to live here."

Visiting Professor Swinely - Pig Latin.