College Parody Lover Pillows

"He's mad because this school doesn't have a football team, bars, or restaurants."

'Hmph. College kids.'

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

'Mutation and natural selection? - That sounds awfully STRESSFUL!'

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

Monkey Business College

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

'If it makes you feel any better, I gave the kid you copied from the same grade.'

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

"Student unicorn"

'I got a darn D-plus, and that's WITH cheating!'

"I guess we love Uni because we get to narrow our minds with like-minded people."

Window Sills I Have Known - Mazzy C. McCattrick

"This looks cool, Mum, a university offering a degree course in Greed."

Man sees college fraternity houses 'Kappa Phi', 'Aeta Epsalon' and then 'Beta Carotene', says, 'They major in nutrition.'

'My son is away at college, majoring in communications. He never calls and he never writes.'

Dorothy's illiteracy becomes all too painfully apparent.

"I am dyslexic, parked in a faculty space and wore my roommate's t-shirt."

"Let me guess, you joined Alpha Delta Dogma"

The Pi Advantage

'If we could just get rid of a few of these lecturers and students, we'd have a great university on our hands.'

"Here's my final exam. My lawyer said I didn't have to answer any of these questions."

'I recommend you major in something other than meat.'

'Nobody likes a bartender who went to college.'

"I don't care whay they do at college, you'll scrub them off at once"

"I like everything about this neighborhood except the people who can afford to live here."

'Yes, your father studied at a 'red brick university'. He never graduated though, because he's as thick as a red brick!'