College Navigator Gifts

'You are supposed to be here.'

"How much would it cost if I don't take classes but just live in a dorm with a meal plan?"

'It's the only way I can afford this place.'

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Continuing education.

'Are we there yet?'

"Three more years of high school."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

"I am not asking for directions."

Between Offices

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

"Why do you always assume I'm going down?"

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

Battery Lighthouse

Titanic: How's my steering.

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

"It's going to be one of those days."

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

'The landscape is continually shifting Son, so you have to learn to navigate by the Sun and the stars...'

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

'But I did study. I guess the software didn't install successfully.'

'I never wanted the best years of your life Clayton - just a few good days would do.'

What are you looking for in a college? A strong environmental program. Ok. Pick 4 or 5 we could visit. I've got 3 days for the trip. There's one in Ohio. Can do. One in Maine, Iowa and California. You need a good geography program. Here's another one. Where's St. Paul?

"Rosalie—your poor performance this year has reduced your parents' investment in you by almost seventy per cent."

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

"According to the map, we should be nearing the North Pole, but something tells me we’ve been reading the map upside down."