Higher Education Navigator Gifts

'I'm enrolling in an online course to learn how to apply for a loan for an online university.'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

Interdisciplinary studies.

Continuing education.

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

"Three more years of high school."

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

'Add the numbers, divide by how many numbers you've added and there you have it-the average amount of minutes you sleep in class each day.'

Between Offices

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

"So the secret to getting good grades is to study hard...seems a little extreme!"

"Why do you always assume I'm going down?"

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

'But I did study. I guess the software didn't install successfully.'

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

'I never wanted the best years of your life Clayton - just a few good days would do.'

"Rosalie—your poor performance this year has reduced your parents' investment in you by almost seventy per cent."

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'vocabulary'?'

"Of course you'll study Latin. How else will you learn the names of your dinosaur friends."

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

'So far more education hasn't helped me get a job. I think I'll get some student loans and get some more education.'

Fuzzy Math.