Education Navigator Gifts

'Students who major in these subjects have a 7% less chance of moving back in with their parents after graduation.'

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

Interdisciplinary studies.

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

"Three more years of high school."

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

'Add the numbers, divide by how many numbers you've added and there you have it-the average amount of minutes you sleep in class each day.'

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

Between Offices

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

"So the secret to getting good grades is to study hard...seems a little extreme!"

'I'm just using this while my monster truck is in the shop.'

"Why do you always assume I'm going down?"

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

"It's going to be one of those days."

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

'But I did study. I guess the software didn't install successfully.'

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

'I never wanted the best years of your life Clayton - just a few good days would do.'

"Rosalie—your poor performance this year has reduced your parents' investment in you by almost seventy per cent."

'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'vocabulary'?'

"Of course you'll study Latin. How else will you learn the names of your dinosaur friends."

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

Fuzzy Math.

'So far more education hasn't helped me get a job. I think I'll get some student loans and get some more education.'