College Life Navigator T-Shirts

"Room, board, books, and tuition--I draw the line at corkage fees."

'Trevor, it's some gentlemen to see you about your student loan.'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

Continuing education.

"Three more years of high school."

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Santa does a keg stand.

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

Between Offices

"Why do you always assume I'm going down?"

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

"Rosalie—your poor performance this year has reduced your parents' investment in you by almost seventy per cent."

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

'I never wanted the best years of your life Clayton - just a few good days would do.'

"I guess I'll see you around Frank."

'None of the other things had instructions.'

'If you are here, you'll be late for gym class."

Doubt or Certainy

"I owe my success to always being the lesser of two evils."

The farm-raised catfish goes to college

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

The Spring Break Venus

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

"I see myself rising through the ranks of the organization until midlife, when I will most likely hit a wall and go screaming through the door."

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

'I received matching offers.'

"I've seen a number of meteoric career flameouts in my time, but Phil's was sure in a class by itself!"

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

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'It's the only way I can afford this place.'