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Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

'Please tell me you aren't my roommate.'

'What a coincidence. My student loan payment is the same as my unemployment check.'

"Rosalie—your poor performance this year has reduced your parents' investment in you by almost seventy per cent."

"Three more years of high school."

"Dad, we're in trouble with my teacher again."

'His teacher said performance targets aren't real.'

One shandy and two glasses of tap water please.

'Someday, you'll grow up, go to college, and find yourself drowning in debt, just like the big boys!'

Continuing education.

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."

Better times ahead.

"It's going to be one of those days."

Financial Services For Lawyers...Beginner's Class...

'None of the other things had instructions.'

Midlife: You Are Here.

'If you are here, you'll be late for gym class."

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

Wiseguys/Smartasses/Eggheads/Smarty Pants

Doubt or Certainy

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

'Trevor, it's some gentlemen to see you about your student loan.'

Adult Book Store. Leaving home. Finding a Job. Getting Married. Buying a House. Raising Kids. Living with Stress.

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

'It's the only way I can afford this place.'

'I think he's proud of his ability to be in the way in more than one room at a time.'

We're waiting to see if he'll see his shadow.

My changing Body: A Guide For New Fathers

'It's quite common with men your age. You've got a silver duct tapeworm.'