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The Spring Break Venus

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

Interdisciplinary studies.

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

"Three more years of high school."

'I'm supposed to take a geography test and I can't find the right room!'

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'Add the numbers, divide by how many numbers you've added and there you have it-the average amount of minutes you sleep in class each day.'

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

Santa does a keg stand.

Congratulations! All that cramming paid off.

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

"So the secret to getting good grades is to study hard...seems a little extreme!"

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

What are you looking for in a college? A strong environmental program. Ok. Pick 4 or 5 we could visit. I've got 3 days for the trip. There's one in Ohio. Can do. One in Maine, Iowa and California. You need a good geography program. Here's another one. Where's St. Paul?

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'vocabulary'?'

"Of course you'll study Latin. How else will you learn the names of your dinosaur friends."

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

'So far more education hasn't helped me get a job. I think I'll get some student loans and get some more education.'

'He's going to college, but he doesn't have an exit strategy.'

Fuzzy Math.

"Studying friction is a real drag."

"Enjoy university darling, and don't come back during the holidays, we're going to air BnB your room."

"He walked in, said he was a visiting scholar, and made himself at home."