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"In closing, let me tell you that never in the universe have I spoken before such an attentive audience."

"Do you have this grant in a bigger size?"

Cover Design for Cambridge ABC (Student Magazine)

'Uh oh, you have somehow wandered into the engineering quad.'

Tenure Beach/Adjunct Area

Beerboarding 101

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

'I'm supposed to take a geography test and I can't find the right room!'

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

Congratulations! All that cramming paid off.

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

"He walked in, said he was a visiting scholar, and made himself at home."

'I wish I were your age again, and knew what I know now.'

A man sitting in the grass reading

Safe spaces?

"Great, now we're lost."

'He's going to college, but he doesn't have an exit strategy.'

"I'm afraid this whole experiment is about to go south."

'Everybody's grades are down, Dad -- I think the school's having some kind of austerity program.'

The Spring Break Venus

A statue dedicated to "The Unknown Academic Infighter" stands outside a college campus.

Man behind stage to lady about professor with person under podium: 'That's Professor Allen's understudy.'

"I'm sure your students understand it was your first day, Tom... besides, seeing a man cry doesn't have the stigma it once did!"

"To tell you the truth, I never thought downward mobility would be so, well, downward."

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