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'Everybody's grades are down, Dad -- I think the school's having some kind of austerity program.'

Recovering Academics

"Golly, professor - I thought non-verbal communication would be some complicated symbolism or something."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Eternal Student.

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

Interdisciplinary studies.

'He's not as studious as he looks - his backpack is full of comic books.'

Continuing education.

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

Paranormal A-Z...

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"Three more years of high school."

"Miss Rogers told me I have a personal 'cloud' to store knowledge in."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

Now showing, at a University near you...

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

'Add the numbers, divide by how many numbers you've added and there you have it-the average amount of minutes you sleep in class each day.'

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'