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'Dad, why are you going to deliver a paper in Boston? Couldn't you find a paper route closer to home?'

Clem needed three more bass for his Ph.D.

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Eternal Student.

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

Interdisciplinary studies.

Continuing education.

'He's not as studious as he looks - his backpack is full of comic books.'

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

"Three more years of high school."

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

"Miss Rogers told me I have a personal 'cloud' to store knowledge in."

Paranormal A-Z...

'I'm supposed to take a geography test and I can't find the right room!'

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

Now showing, at a University near you...

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'Add the numbers, divide by how many numbers you've added and there you have it-the average amount of minutes you sleep in class each day.'

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

Congratulations! All that cramming paid off.

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'