College Experiences Gifts

The assistant to the chair begins another busy day.

"Hey, while you guys have that laser thingy out, how about removing that tattoo? Don't ask, it was a college thing."

The Art Student.

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'Hmph. College kids.'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Continuing education.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"One year closer to college!"

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

'I'm supposed to take a geography test and I can't find the right room!'

Kardiff.

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

Santa does a keg stand.

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'