University Experience Gifts

'Four years ago I couldn't even spell party animal.'

"I can't wait to get home and insult my parents from a position of authority."

'Now I can see why our son's roommates won't let him cook.'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"My homework ate my dog."

Good Luck!

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

His Master's Thesis.

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

The University Cricket Match - a sketch at Lord's.

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."