College Dropout Fan Gifts

'Did you really? I flunked out of Bob Jones, too!'

'Hmph. College kids.'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'Mutation and natural selection? - That sounds awfully STRESSFUL!'

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

"When you tell your Father how you're dropping out of college to be a renaissance faire entertainer, the least you could do is break character."

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

"I guess we love Uni because we get to narrow our minds with like-minded people."

"Student unicorn"

Man sees college fraternity houses 'Kappa Phi', 'Aeta Epsalon' and then 'Beta Carotene', says, 'They major in nutrition.'

'My son is away at college, majoring in communications. He never calls and he never writes.'

"Let me guess, you joined Alpha Delta Dogma"

"School is loverly this time of year."

Canine Frat Parties

'Nobody likes a bartender who went to college.'

"I am dyslexic, parked in a faculty space and wore my roommate's t-shirt."

'I recommend you major in something other than meat.'

"Here's my final exam. My lawyer said I didn't have to answer any of these questions."

"I don't care whay they do at college, you'll scrub them off at once"

Visiting Professor Swinely - Pig Latin.

"Are you nuts? If we say we've found the sun is a White Hole we'll lose our funding!"

'Look at yourself! Ever since college, you've been different. You've changed!' Mark was right. His mother HAD changed.

Binge Drinking On Campus.

'Son, this college is known as nothing but a big party school. Good choice!'