College Dropout Fan Pillows

'Did you really? I flunked out of Bob Jones, too!'

'Hmph. College kids.'

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'Mutation and natural selection? - That sounds awfully STRESSFUL!'

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

Med School Mascots.

"When you tell your Father how you're dropping out of college to be a renaissance faire entertainer, the least you could do is break character."

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

"I guess we love Uni because we get to narrow our minds with like-minded people."

"Student unicorn"

Man sees college fraternity houses 'Kappa Phi', 'Aeta Epsalon' and then 'Beta Carotene', says, 'They major in nutrition.'

'My son is away at college, majoring in communications. He never calls and he never writes.'

"I am dyslexic, parked in a faculty space and wore my roommate's t-shirt."

Canine Frat Parties

"Let me guess, you joined Alpha Delta Dogma"

"Here's my final exam. My lawyer said I didn't have to answer any of these questions."

'I recommend you major in something other than meat.'

'Nobody likes a bartender who went to college.'

"School is loverly this time of year."

"I don't care whay they do at college, you'll scrub them off at once"

Branded? Nah, that there's a decal where my kid goes to college. OU.

It's nice to have a positive parents' night topic. College admissions. Hearing about drugs, depression and sexually transmitted diseases gets old. The 3 downer 'Ds'. Tonight we'll discuss your kids' futures in higher education. We'll cover drugs, depression, diseases and crushing debt. Correction. 4 'Ds'.

Visiting Professor Swinely - Pig Latin.

"Are you nuts? If we say we've found the sun is a White Hole we'll lose our funding!"

'I think we've found your problem. It's a Yale lock, but you have a Harvard key.'

'Look at yourself! Ever since college, you've been different. You've changed!' Mark was right. His mother HAD changed.

Binge Drinking On Campus.

New roommates, welcome to Oswego Ewe's new semester.

'Son, this college is known as nothing but a big party school. Good choice!'