Collecting Humorous Comics Gifts

'Because I have a thpeech impediment.'

'You've finally gone crazy - asking that goldfish questions and then ignoring its replies!'

"How can you be out of wings?"

The Fourth Little Pig

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

'It's our own consumer confidence test. Throw some nickels out and if they're picked up in 5 minutes confidence is really low!'

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

Wiener Dog . . . Dog Wiener

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

"Sorry, bud. You know the rules... Dibs is dibs."

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

'Pray for me.'

Atomic Bear: Part 13

The Leafs win the Cup!

Peter

Why would a dog wear a hat?

Dog ignores angry cat.

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

Modern Warfare: Surgical Strike

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'