Collecting Humorous Art Gifts

NHS very direct - 'You have a terminal illness and you are going to die. Thanks for your call...'

"It's an internship - crime doesn't pay."

Just Browsing.

'Could you give me big tits?'

'The health plan will cover you and up to three dwarves.'

Alphabet soup in a tough neighbourhood.

'Yes, the old lady left me all her worldly wealth. But what I really wanted was her liver.'

A Fox Hunter gets Angry with a Scarecrow.

"Fire! Quick, get something to put it out with!"

Coffin Jack

"My therapist advised me to lighten up."

The Shoemaker's Appendectomy

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

'Hey! Where's the fire?'

Sometimes I think the commercialisation of Christmas has gone a bit too far.

"Well, it's only one glass after dinner darling!"

Elder Assist Bird: 'I'm not going to tell you again! Take your ***** pills!'

I can't wait for TV to be invented...

Scouse Opticians

Gonna Suck

Up Pariscope.

"The irony is he didn't care that much for Gorgonzola."

"I was getting too many complaints about untimely deaths."

"I couldn't be happier if I were in slop."

A Loony Bin

'Kong, loved your resume but I have to ask for a drug test.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting - No. VI

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. I

Welcome to old age - I come up seven or eight times a night to empty my blowhole, too.

Karen of Bethlehem

The Village Snowidiot

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

Skeleton playing fetch.

Vegetarian Birds

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'