Collector Of Funny Comics Gifts

'He says you demolished his front door when you delivered the paper this morning.'

"I'm away one night and you're shaking up with teh foreman packer!"

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

The Fourth Little Pig

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

A large leaf falling on a dog

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Welcome Spring.

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

Bears catching fish

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

'Super Dog'

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

'What clan do you belong to?'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"I don't remember it ever being this windy before."

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."