Collecting Humor Books Gifts

"Mom! The nanny got into the liquor cabinet and is yelling, 'Si! Se Pueda'."

Hollywood Sign Developers

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

Vegetarian Birds

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"Guide to physical comedy fish"

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'Kong, loved your resume but I have to ask for a drug test.'

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

"Come on. Why not just try dog hot dogs for a change?"

"I don't care who's naughty or nice anymore-I only keep track of who's crossed me."

'These are Martha's Camp Cupcake Muffins - and I've just ordered her new apron from the prison gift shop.'

Elephant and Castle

'Relax, he is just playing fetch the stick with the kids.'

'The urge to spawn comes from the desire to hear the pitter-patter of tiny fins.'

Dog to dog: 'I hate the way pointers are always blaming somebody else.'

Lesser Known Active Volcanoes.

'Oh yeah? Well I'm not crazy about your humming, either!'

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

The Heating Oil Problem.

The Shoemaker's Appendectomy

"Don't panic Daisy dear. You can relax your buttocks, it's not the vet, it's the chimney sweep."

Just Browsing.

'In future a reg number will suffice, ok.'

Book signing The Art Of Forgery - "Gee thanks, Oprah Winfrey."

Boxers vs. Briefs

Yard Sale. It could be we're pillaging too much.

Waiting for the 5 o'clock hooter.

"I only live for 24 hours, so I need a temp job that pays big bugs."

Witless protection prgram

Why clown agents shoul never hide in the WC

"I couldn't be happier if I were in slop."

"Can you fit him with remote control facilities, doctor"

Dinosaur Pet Stores

Welcome to old age - I come up seven or eight times a night to empty my blowhole, too.