Collecting Humor Books T-Shirts

"Mom! The nanny got into the liquor cabinet and is yelling, 'Si! Se Pueda'."

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

Vegetarian Birds

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"Guide to physical comedy fish"

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'Kong, loved your resume but I have to ask for a drug test.'

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

"Come on. Why not just try dog hot dogs for a change?"

"I don't care who's naughty or nice anymore-I only keep track of who's crossed me."

Elephant and Castle

'These are Martha's Camp Cupcake Muffins - and I've just ordered her new apron from the prison gift shop.'

'Relax, he is just playing fetch the stick with the kids.'

'The urge to spawn comes from the desire to hear the pitter-patter of tiny fins.'

'Oh yeah? Well I'm not crazy about your humming, either!'

The Shoemaker's Appendectomy

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

The Heating Oil Problem.

Dog to dog: 'I hate the way pointers are always blaming somebody else.'

Lesser Known Active Volcanoes.

"Don't panic Daisy dear. You can relax your buttocks, it's not the vet, it's the chimney sweep."

Just Browsing.

'In future a reg number will suffice, ok.'

Boxers vs. Briefs

Book signing The Art Of Forgery - "Gee thanks, Oprah Winfrey."

Dinosaur Pet Stores

Witless protection prgram

"I only live for 24 hours, so I need a temp job that pays big bugs."

"Can you fit him with remote control facilities, doctor"

"I couldn't be happier if I were in slop."

Why clown agents shoul never hide in the WC

Waiting for the 5 o'clock hooter.