Cold Climate Survivalist Gifts

'I never kiss below the mukluks on the first date!'

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

This Halloween, use props to create a unique jack-o-lanern. Fitness buffs might like a jumping jack. Or you could carve a lumberjack. In colder climates, Jack Frost might be a nice choice. And for something functional, build a jack!

'My purse! The original 24-hour pharmacy.'

'You'll have to excuse Gerald - he suffers from Seasonal Affected Disorder' (Naked man in arm chair in living room)

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

Dog Igloo.

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'It's the worst possible diagnosis a bear can receive -- sleep apnea.'

'Here's an interesting article. 'Cold or Seasonal Allergy?''

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

"That's the worst case of Cabin Fever that I've ever seen. Luckily, spring is right around the corner."

Running out of Gas.

"For years after Vietnam, I woke up screaming about the cold weather in Toronto."

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

"Brrr - it was so cold today I had my hands in my own pockets instead of someone elses!"

'I see a lot of that at this time of year...you've got a nasty case of cabin fever!'

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

"And unlimited freezer space, naturally..."

"It's a deal. Help me find the acorns I buried and I'll help you find your bones."

"Help me! I'm trapped. In a dead end job."

St Bernard Toilet Holder

'The temperature isn't too bad at -15, but when you add on the wind chill factor... '

'...and the temperature is controlled by a thermostat which keeps it at a controlled zero year round.'

"Hey, it's March, so it's safe to put the snow shovel away, right? Right?"

"You'll thank me when you see the heating bill."

Polar bear produces snowflakes as he plays a musical instrument.

'Am I shivering or giggling?'

'Yes, we could use someone with your talents!'

Igloo Building.

Global Warming Penguin

"We switched over. It’s cheaper, and polls show sinners are far more miserable in a cold climate."

How You Know It's Spring...