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Books / Coffee table books

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Shoe addict.

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

You had me at vintage.

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

Board Game Hunter

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

"The new house is almost ready!"

'Mint?! These taste like cardboard!'

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

Hat Boxes, in the Closet

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

My first mistake.

A woman and her home simultaneously achieve 'casual'.

If You See Something You Want, Whine!

"John B.: Best Entertainment Value for under $1.79"

Man notices coffee table book called '1000 Best Coffee Table Books'.

'We're not exact clones - he likes his martini shaken, and I prefer mine stirred.'

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I wish I had emotions like people do. I wish I could think as logically as people do. I'd like to take a walk along the shoreline without rusting. Storing energy in a battery rather than a pot belly would be nice. Having a sense of humor would be fun. The ability to selectively delete memories would be great to have. I wish I didn't have to worry about digital viruses. I wish I didn't have to worry about biological viruses.

My own museum.

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

Literary Dogs.

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chops

"I'll take a latte with Mocha, Vanilla, Caramel, Hazelnut, Cinnamon, Chai, White Chocolate, Pumpkin Spice, Gingerbread, Butterscotch and Marshmallow. Hold the whipped cream, I'm on a diet."

"Actually, I don't read much, they're just background for my video calls."

"I call it 'Organised Cabinet Number One'."

'..or do you think we should go with this one?'

'I think Beatrix wants to show you her latest video installation.'

"Good Boy." (Dog sits in chair, reading newspaper. Next to him, on a table, is a trophy inscribed with "Good Boy.")

". . . when."

"With proper editing, I've had a good life."

On the Ice.

Welcome to the Valley of the Shadow of Death