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"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

Paul Klee

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Shoe addict.

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

'Projectile painting.'

It's a call from Tate modern.

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

You had me at vintage.

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

"That shirt is so last year."

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

"The new house is almost ready!"

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

Books / Coffee table books

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

"That must be the artist over there."

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

The perfectionist.

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

"He's left out the staples"

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

Happy Hog - Manet

Francoise Gilot

Sculptor's chippings

Kapoor & Piss-poor (Anish Kapoor sculpture beside Marcel Deschamps urinal)

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

"Wow! - An original Bacon!!"