Cabinet Curator T-Shirts

"I see you still have the president's ear."

You're my Mona Lisa.

At the Museum

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

Paul Klee

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

The Googler

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"I think he was a celebrity."

'That's about it so far, Son.'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"And this is our media room."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

Physician tending a mummy.

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"Personally, I'm a doer."

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Video Henge: made from melting and molding 3,000,000 obsolete VCR tapes.

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

The Hall Of Mirrors Jeretski Palace, Plovdo

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

Painting taking root...

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."