Coffee Curators T-Shirts

"I'll take a latte with Mocha, Vanilla, Caramel, Hazelnut, Cinnamon, Chai, White Chocolate, Pumpkin Spice, Gingerbread, Butterscotch and Marshmallow. Hold the whipped cream, I'm on a diet."

You've Had Enough!

Well, you know these child prodigies - they can be very demanding about how their work is displayed.

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

Books / Coffee table books

"I want to see it as art, but I keep asking myself 'is it really grocery?'"

My first mistake.

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

'A frore basenji was mistaken for a stabile.'

"Introducing the Schultzaccino. Neither tea nor coffee."

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

Mt. Rushmore Spinoffs.

'We're not exact clones - he likes his martini shaken, and I prefer mine stirred.'

"He's so ostentatious about how un-ostentatious he is."

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

School of Baristas

We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion. Oh no. I've spent the last 72 hours analyzing our customer base. Our granola and kale latte helped us capture the hipster demo once we bundled it with cigarettes and vinyl records. Our caffeine-infused mocha helped us capture the white-collar set once we bundled it with motivational recordings. But there's one demographic we still haven't monopolized. First-time parents of toddlers. How proficient are you at potty training? I q

"I'm sorry - Mr Jensen is not in the office at this time."

"One skinny latte, and is that with almond milk, coconut milk, soya milk..."

I just can't help feeling that we'd be good together.

Voting on their Seats

'I can't take anymore, Gladys - I'm asking for a transfer to pottery !'

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

Whatcha doing for vacation, Emily? Working at the beach caf� where all the lifeguards hang out. I'm ready for a summer of love! Me too! Aren't you babysitting? For 3 of the cutest little boys in West Fester Elementary. Check out the sexy chocolate milk mustache.

'He's on his sixth cup of coffee.'

"His work hovers between neo-realism, post-modernism and crap."

"Pardon me, but I couldn't help overhearing your conversation."

Rodin's Look-out Man

"I've bought you the decaf flat white you ordered via the smart speaker."

"I can't imagine bringing a child into the current art world."

Coffee. Yeah, the muses are always the first ones here in the morning.

"Tuna Colada"

'The first thing we have to decide is why we aren't meeting at a STARBUCKS.'

"Jimmy! Guy out here is asking for an 'All The Money In Your Register'. Is that with gin or vodka?"

Coffee House - "Hyper Hour 6-7"