Coffee Curators Gifts

"I'll take a latte with Mocha, Vanilla, Caramel, Hazelnut, Cinnamon, Chai, White Chocolate, Pumpkin Spice, Gingerbread, Butterscotch and Marshmallow. Hold the whipped cream, I'm on a diet."

Well, you know these child prodigies - they can be very demanding about how their work is displayed.

You've Had Enough!

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

Books / Coffee table books

"I want to see it as art, but I keep asking myself 'is it really grocery?'"

My first mistake.

'A frore basenji was mistaken for a stabile.'

"Introducing the Schultzaccino. Neither tea nor coffee."

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

'We're not exact clones - he likes his martini shaken, and I prefer mine stirred.'

Mt. Rushmore Spinoffs.

"He's so ostentatious about how un-ostentatious he is."

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

School of Baristas

'I can't take anymore, Gladys - I'm asking for a transfer to pottery !'

"I'm sorry - Mr Jensen is not in the office at this time."

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

'He's on his sixth cup of coffee.'

"One skinny latte, and is that with almond milk, coconut milk, soya milk..."

"His work hovers between neo-realism, post-modernism and crap."

Rodin's Look-out Man

"I've bought you the decaf flat white you ordered via the smart speaker."

"Pardon me, but I couldn't help overhearing your conversation."

"I can't imagine bringing a child into the current art world."

"Jimmy! Guy out here is asking for an 'All The Money In Your Register'. Is that with gin or vodka?"

"Tuna Colada"

Coffee House - "Hyper Hour 6-7"

'Note to myself: Next time I'm wide awake half the night, just get up, DO NOT fall asleep 10 minutes before the alarm goes off!'