Coffee Crafter Gifts

School of Baristas

"I'm sorry - Mr Jensen is not in the office at this time."

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Do it yourself books.

Wordplay: Export.

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

Jeff's Smorgasbord

'The roof needs icing.'

'31 years in graphic design eh, so I shouldn't be surprised you've retouched your photo on your CV.'

'Harvey does all his own 'get well' cards.'

Day 38 of self-isolation and many people are using the time to discover and enjoy new hobbies.

'We need a new hot water bottle.'

A potter paints a barcode on a pot.

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

Cross-country knitting.

Remember how I came in on December 31st and ordered a lardo-size fudgsicle sugarbomb mocha with butter sprinkles? Well, give me another one of those. Since it's something I originally had last year, it'll be like I had this one last year too. So it won't violate my New Year's resolution. The ancient art of Time-Shift-Fu. I'm a tenth level grand master. I studied under Moe Yin, the master who created "it's not really 'cheating' if it's with an ex."

What are you going to do with your face masks when we no longer need them?

'Yes, I received your resume that you emailed. I ran a fact check and I was wondering if you know that a half truth is a whole lie.'

"It hasn't been published yet. Bloody idiots wouldn't recognize a great book if it jumped up and bit them on the ass."

"I had to get braces."

"I'll take a latte with Mocha, Vanilla, Caramel, Hazelnut, Cinnamon, Chai, White Chocolate, Pumpkin Spice, Gingerbread, Butterscotch and Marshmallow. Hold the whipped cream, I'm on a diet."

Wooly mammoth

'You've had enough.'

"What I like about booze is that it's so low tech."

'What do you mean you're not hungry?'

"You're wasting your time. They'll just lose them."

A woman knits from a globe.

'The theory is, instead of cutting us down, they keep recycling Grandpa to make new paper products.'

Alcohol Problem Advisor - 'How do I mix a Bismark?'

When alcohol and gimmicky restaurants collide.

Knitting Christmas Tree

Garden Art

'I remember when having social juice meant having a well stocked bar.'

"It'll be interesting to see what granny ends up with...she ran out of yarn and is using spaghetti!"