Coffee Shop Crooner Gifts

Rick decides to save his real lyrics for when someone is actually listening.

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

You've Had Enough!

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

National Coffee Day

Decapitated coffee.

How About Serving Us For a Change

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

'Thanks for coming out with me. I really needed a caffeine fix.'

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"There's no such thing as free wi-fi."

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

Try Our New Slam Dunk Coffee and Donut Special.

Kitty's Coffee Shop

Starbucks doubles its sales by devising a way to sell coffee over the Internet,

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

"I don'y know about you guys, but I don't feel like I've lost one goddamn bit of my feminity."

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

The Coffee Tattoo

Coffee-Rex: Even more irritable than a Tea-Rex.

"How are your latte art classes going?"

The Stages of Coffee Addiction

"We've already had 35 people sign up for our new latte, scone and debt-consolidation loan combo. Where are you going to get all this money to loan people? Are you wearing a wire? Are you sure this is on the level? Smash your cellphone and I'll answer you."

St Bernard with Cappucino, Espresso, and Latte.

"Introducing the Schultzaccino. Neither tea nor coffee."

Boss, customers are asking why you've doubled prices. I'm just being fair. When the cost of coffee beans go up, everyone thinks I'm justified in raising the price of coffee. But cost increases come in all shapes and sizes. What about my new 80" tv? What about my new car note? What about my manservant I just imported from London? I dream of the day when all costs can be passed on to customers equally. Greed is not a civil right issue!

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

"Six hundred Starbucks closing? Really? Is that on the East Side or West Side?"

'What do you mean, you just sell coffee? I don't understand, what kind of shop is that?'

'I've never eaten here. I come for the broadband.'