Coffee Shop Dweller Gifts

"The coffee is free, but now we rent the tables."

'Maybe you wouldn't be so penniless a writer if you stopped writing in expensive coffee shops.'

"How long have I been typing on a waffle maker."

"Do you think it's safe yet, Randy?"

"I'm a sartorial feminist."

'First we were out-gunned by the criminals...now we're out-dunked at the donut shop!'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

Bookshop: Unpopular Economics

Decapitated coffee.

National Coffee Day

Wifi whore

How About Serving Us For a Change

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

"When it comes to good, old-fashioned roots music, this guy is the BEST!"

"There's no such thing as free wi-fi."

'Thanks for coming out with me. I really needed a caffeine fix.'

Kitty's Coffee Shop

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

Coffee-Rex: Even more irritable than a Tea-Rex.

The Coffee Tattoo

"How are your latte art classes going?"

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

The Stages of Coffee Addiction

Meet The People in the Bookstore Café Staring at Their Laptops 2-4 p.m.

St Bernard with Cappucino, Espresso, and Latte.

"Six hundred Starbucks closing? Really? Is that on the East Side or West Side?"

"We've already had 35 people sign up for our new latte, scone and debt-consolidation loan combo. Where are you going to get all this money to loan people? Are you wearing a wire? Are you sure this is on the level? Smash your cellphone and I'll answer you."