Coconut Philosopher Gifts

Said the castaway to his coconut.

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

"Beds are not made for jumping on."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

The sad fate of Isaac Newton's Tahitian counterpart.

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

World of Cow.

'The first cocktail.'

'Jim's blogging his thought for the day. He doesn't have any profound thoughts, he just has one thought per day.'

"I was surprised myself, but living apart, seeing other people, and having virtually nothing to do with each other actually has made our marriage stronger."

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

"If a fruit doesn't have a lolly flavour, is it a real fruit?"

"Your idea is strong. Really strong. But I've gotta ask myself, is it too much espresso for a decaf world?"

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

After 73 days, the coconut would finally be his.

Bar Therapy

'If it wasn't for you darling - I think I would go crazy!'

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

'If those coconuts ever ripen, I'm not eating them!'

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, so we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

'Eating all of this coconut is making me feel really horny.'

"Sorry I've called last orders"

'The position sounds interesting, but my last job paid more coconuts.'

No, "enlightenment" is on the next peak. I teach "ignorance is bliss."

'Hey it's a recipe for coconut cakes!'

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.