Coconut Philosopher T-Shirts

Said the castaway to his coconut.

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

World of Cow.

"I was surprised myself, but living apart, seeing other people, and having virtually nothing to do with each other actually has made our marriage stronger."

'Jim's blogging his thought for the day. He doesn't have any profound thoughts, he just has one thought per day.'

'The first cocktail.'

"If a fruit doesn't have a lolly flavour, is it a real fruit?"

"Your idea is strong. Really strong. But I've gotta ask myself, is it too much espresso for a decaf world?"

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

After 73 days, the coconut would finally be his.

'If those coconuts ever ripen, I'm not eating them!'

'If it wasn't for you darling - I think I would go crazy!'

Bar Therapy

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, so we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

"Sorry I've called last orders"

'Eating all of this coconut is making me feel really horny.'

'The position sounds interesting, but my last job paid more coconuts.'