Coconut Fanatic T-Shirts

'Psst... Wanna' buy any coconuts?'

Ice Cream Surgeon

What the Doctor Ordered

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

Tarzan of the Grapes.

Newton forgets gravity, discovers delicious apple

Large, wrinkly

Tree Passion

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

"Peach fuzz. How does a nectarine know when it reaches puberty?"

'What are you eating now?'

"Prepare to meet your maker."

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

The sad fate of Isaac Newton's Tahitian counterpart.

Apricots

"Hahahaha doctor, I guess I'll see you in a week

Vegetarian Birthdays.

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'I'm collecting goat poop for my strawberries.' 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

No such thing as a chocolate overdose!

"It's a giant banana but is it an organic giant banana?"

Things were about to go apple-shaped for Barney and Bart...

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

My friend, Ernie, the documentary filmmaker, is producing a series about beverages. One film follows a man's search for the perfect lager. The working title is "The Beer Hunter." He found a group of young women in high school who are fantastic baristas. "Bean Girls." Espresso. Another movie will uncover animosity in the orange juice business. Maybe I should call it "Pulp Friction." And he's examining vineyards and winemakers all over the globe. I'll call the film "Planet of the Grapes"!

"...and what do you think will happen if you do attend the party?

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

"Watch out for Brian...he's a bit of a bruiser."

Low Hanging Fruit