Cocktail Confrontation T-Shirts

"Yipes! Grownups!!"

Cocktails on the verandah.

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

"Please forgive us for being so late- we had parking issues."

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

'The first cocktail.'

"I was surprised myself, but living apart, seeing other people, and having virtually nothing to do with each other actually has made our marriage stronger."

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

Bar Therapy

Corpse Reviver Number 2

"Oh, shut up. Who isn't in your shoes?"

"Yes, we know them. We like them, but we're not crazy about, you know, the other him."

'Here's a list of women I want you to stay away from at the party tonight.'

"Seems like all of Nancy’s nonprofit work is going to her head."

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

"I keep telling her she should do something with her stupid little online pieces."

"I unleash greed, disease, and death on the world, and you're saying you ate an apple that made you smart?"