Cocktail Confrontation T-Shirts

"Yipes! Grownups!!"

Cocktails on the verandah.

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

"Please forgive us for being so late- we had parking issues."

'The first cocktail.'

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

"I was surprised myself, but living apart, seeing other people, and having virtually nothing to do with each other actually has made our marriage stronger."

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

Corpse Reviver Number 2

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

Bar Therapy

" ... and this is my wife - I'm legally obligated to tell you that."

"Oh, shut up. Who isn't in your shoes?"

"I keep telling her she should do something with her stupid little online pieces."

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

"Seems like all of Nancy’s nonprofit work is going to her head."

"I unleash greed, disease, and death on the world, and you're saying you ate an apple that made you smart?"

Turn on chat. Delete conversation.

"Yes, we know them. We like them, but we're not crazy about, you know, the other him."