Cockiness Connoisseur Gifts

'Are my feet anywhere near the oche yet?'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'He likes to power nap.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Night of the Latkes

Farm Humor.

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Happy Hour

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

Can I give you a slice of the action?

The Trojan Beagle.

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

10 Good Things about a Minnesota Winter.

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.