Coat Check Comedy Gifts

'Would you like me to check your coat?'

Only One Item or Fewer.

"Look, there's even more buttons and stuff up there."

Man tapping a tuning fork on another man's knee

"I know it's a pie in the sky, Henshaw, but from a career perspective point of view we'll log it in as 'unidentified small aircraft'."

Patient to Doctor: 'This may hurt a little.'

"How much of this stuff can I eat before it can no longer be returned?"

Unsuitable clothing.

"Harvey's staying with shoulders."

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'

"You do realize you're violating the dress code..."

Suggestion Box for the Wather.

Shopping Trolley

Medical Treatment.

"I'm hoping my stethoscope is broken."

'Sorry about the screaming during that air pocket, back there.'

'Sorry, the bag boy's down with the flu,'

'Which eight do you want?'

"Yet another day to work on my nothing-to-do-list."

"As you'd expect, the control panel of a modern passenger jet is very complex."

"I never use the Express Lane. I like to keep my money a little longer."

"Oh, that's a tricky one...now let me think...'Would I like a carrier bag..?' hmm..."

'Oh that's actually for here, not to go.'

"I'm not taking any chances. . ."

Laughing when someone shrinks there favorite shirt only makes matters worse.

'This is the pilot. If you look to the left you'll see London, look to the right France - inside the cockpit the co-pilot's underpants.'

"Bigelow, let's try and set this thing down just once without saying 'Oopsy-daisy.' "

"Please pay attention as the stewardess demonstrates our new procedure for drunken passengers"

"Your total is $10.97 and this is only $6."

'Dude, we told you not to stage dive during the sound check.'

"Would you like me to help you pack, or throw your shopping towards you at such a speed, you experience both stress and annoyance?"

Lots of people helping out with the self-service machine.