Checkout Comedians Gifts

Lots of people helping out with the self-service machine.

Man putting ten peas through the 'ten items only' checkout.

"How much of this stuff can I eat before it can no longer be returned?"

"I've just barbecued my head again."

Only One Item or Fewer.

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

"Harvey's staying with shoulders."

Memory Foam Mattress.

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

'I told you, never utter that four letter work - 'walk!''

Shopping Trolley

"We have a fund with a new, advanced financial strategy but it hasn't been tested on humans.''

'Sir, wait! You can't go yet! The register hasn't finished spitting out all your valuable coupons.'

"What makes you think you can patronize me?"

'Which eight do you want?'

'Sorry, the bag boy's down with the flu,'

'Is it my fault the supermarket trolley had a mind of its own?'

"Oh, that's a tricky one...now let me think...'Would I like a carrier bag..?' hmm..."

'It's his mother. They're inseparable.'

"I never use the Express Lane. I like to keep my money a little longer."

Shopping Cart Races

'Oh that's actually for here, not to go.'

"Paper or Plastic?"

'Quick, Lassie, our credit cards are maxed! Get help!'

Frank has intimacy issues.

Express till 'Ten over priced items or less'

'Sorry, there are more than eight frozen peas in here.'

"Your total is $10.97 and this is only $6."

'His six-pack abs are now a keg.'

"Would you like me to help you pack, or throw your shopping towards you at such a speed, you experience both stress and annoyance?"

Checkouts: 10 Items or Less, Baskets Only and Shoplifters.

Words you don't ever want to hear: a pilot saying 'I keep forgetting - East: is that to the left or right of north?'