Checkbook Comedian Gifts

"I keep writing Stone Age instead of Bronze Age on all my checks."

Only One Item or Fewer.

Yes, they are all dependants."

'Sorry, folks! The CEO and Board of Directors didn't show up.'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

"We calculated your age by how many hours you billed your clients, and you are at least 96."

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

"I know they say that laughter at work is healthy, but not when they're laughing at our profit forecasts!"

'This drug treats 'stock market jitters' but a side effect is 'irrational exuberance'.'

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

Research continues to discover if the inability to balance a checkbook is genetic.

"How much of this stuff can I eat before it can no longer be returned?"

'Slaug-ter house? I wonder what that is. C'mon, I'll race you!'

TELLER, 'Thirty-seven dollars? -- you call THAT overdrawn?'

"I know it's a foreign book...but I'm reading it with a local accent."

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'

Sign - 'Warning: Government Spending Objectives Are Larger Than They Actually Appear.'

Budget Opticians.

Bankers waking up from cryo-sleep to explain the Fed's interest rate hike to you.

IRS, 'How about that -- 100 unearned income.'

"The Scrimpshaws have finally decided to deposit their savings."

80 Million Euros for a football player.

'Sorry, but Watford is not a tax heaven!'

Dollar sign balloon.

'He'd be handsome even without the big bonus, stock options and obscene salary!'

'Even if your dog does do 'His Business' in your basement, you still can't deduct it as office space.'

If the Fed can loosen it's money supply, why can't you?

'Eddie, how about emerging Far East funds? The rumor is that China will come out with a velcro chopstick!'

'Which eight do you want?'

HA HA PAID NO TAXES

"Do you take MasterCard?"

How much money do you want? How much have you got?

Computer that runs on money.