Checkbook Comedian Gifts

"I keep writing Stone Age instead of Bronze Age on all my checks."

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

Only One Item or Fewer.

Yes, they are all dependants."

'Sorry, folks! The CEO and Board of Directors didn't show up.'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

"Okay, what if we go outside - will it still be insider trading then?"

"We calculated your age by how many hours you billed your clients, and you are at least 96."

"I know they say that laughter at work is healthy, but not when they're laughing at our profit forecasts!"

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

'This drug treats 'stock market jitters' but a side effect is 'irrational exuberance'.'

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

'Slaug-ter house? I wonder what that is. C'mon, I'll race you!'

"How much of this stuff can I eat before it can no longer be returned?"

Research continues to discover if the inability to balance a checkbook is genetic.

TELLER, 'Thirty-seven dollars? -- you call THAT overdrawn?'

"I know it's a foreign book...but I'm reading it with a local accent."

Budget Opticians.

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'

Sign - 'Warning: Government Spending Objectives Are Larger Than They Actually Appear.'

Bankers waking up from cryo-sleep to explain the Fed's interest rate hike to you.

'Sorry, but Watford is not a tax heaven!'

IRS, 'How about that -- 100 unearned income.'

Josh tests his theory that by driving backward through a quick-pass toll lane, he can get money ADDED to his credit card account.

"The Scrimpshaws have finally decided to deposit their savings."

80 Million Euros for a football player.

'He'd be handsome even without the big bonus, stock options and obscene salary!'

Dollar sign balloon.

'Even if your dog does do 'His Business' in your basement, you still can't deduct it as office space.'

If the Fed can loosen it's money supply, why can't you?

'Eddie, how about emerging Far East funds? The rumor is that China will come out with a velcro chopstick!'

'Which eight do you want?'

'Sorry, the bag boy's down with the flu,'

Heeeres Alistair (Darling).

Computer that runs on money.