Reality Check Humorist Gifts

Suggestion Box for the Wather.

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

Grimm's Reality Tales.

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

'Goodbye, dear. This is the kind of day that makes you feel glad to be alive.'

Man tapping a tuning fork on another man's knee

'It's a new reality show about a reality show producer...'

Patient to Doctor: 'This may hurt a little.'

"First destination: the recycling center to get rid of these cans."

"You're not just a number here. You're a number who hasn't been fired yet."

"Maybe you should be depressed, your life isn't that great."

"Starting at a new agency can be overwhelming. Let me show you around."

'It's a surprise for my husband, he isn't going.'

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

'Don't give up the day job...'

'Actually, the bill is part of your reality therapy.'

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

'Does that mean my reflexes are GOOD then, doctor?'

The back of the Taj Mahal.

'I called Louis XVI and Robespierre answered!'

Dying your hair red at home

Cost of living - 'Thank God we're dead.'

"I'm hoping my stethoscope is broken."

'It's just hot dogs. What does the health department care about hot dogs?'

'Your tests came back. . . bad news. Not only did we find a lump, you are a lump. . .'

"Evenin' gents - what's yer poison..?"

End of the Rainbow.

Frank's Realty. The guru's house is tough to sell. One door opening whenever another closes is not a plus in real estate.

Who Was that Masked Man? Oh.

Real World

Wounds...

'That's your misfortune, and none of my own, I'm afraid.'

'Ruddy customers have NO idea of the costs power companies have to cover!'

'Why do we always talk about this stuff?'