Coal Miner Humorist Gifts

Joe Manchin gets the one thing worse than coal this year.

'It's an extinction notice.'

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

"Come on, Og, get with it. Everybody's putting their stuff on 'the cloud' these days."

"It looks like it's an eye bank."

'My acne is worst on the dark side.'

This is where Brent council sends you

Early House Hunting.

Garg saw the future, but didn't quite know what to do with it.

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

I've been doing sit-ups!

We love the Rolling Stones...

"Daisy had twin bull calves. How'd you do?"

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

'Kitchen's small, but I love the granite countertops.'

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

That's one harmonious butt hole!

A cow's bedside table.

'I'm afraid to a horse a carrot is just a carrot!'

'Serves me right for frowning.'

Global Warming.

I'm a Smart-Cow!

Look, I'm not shocked. It's just that you sounded a bit different on the phone!

Oil Workers

"Let me guess: Another splinter?"

"Have you ever had the feeling you forgot to turn something off?"

'If civilization means I've got to see a divorce lawyer instead of eating my husband, I don't like it.'

'They can't help smelling like that -- they're biodegradable.'

'Bring out your biodegradeables.'

"Do you like this settee - oh, stop. How often do I ask you to go furniture shopping?"

"What do I do when I get to the top?"