Coaching Guru Gifts

Pep Guardiola

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Sir Winston Churchill

No-Work Orange

On the back of the t-shirt...

Muscles

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

The Dubloon Stops Here

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

Teamwork!

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

'Instead of a raise, Yomp, you may call me 'Chief', instead of Mr Staghorn.'

Exercise Class

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

"Remind me again, is it Accounting or IT that handles issues related to online solitaire?"

'I had to overcome stereotypical misunderstandings about who makes a good leader.'

Computer games

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

Robotics. He's programmed to play video games all day long. Planned adolescence!

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

The trim reaper

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

'Our Board of Directors are really very fickle!'