Counseling Guru Gifts

'Your problem seems to be depression or angst...Depression I charge £75 a session angst is £125.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

Businesswoman Empowerment

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

Sir Winston Churchill

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

'I'm not sure which one is the role model.'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

The Dubloon Stops Here

Relationship Warning Lights

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

'You know too much!'

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"