Club Scene Satirist Gifts

"That's very deep house."

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."

Suburban street.

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

Pizzas

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!

Autumn Leaves

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Traffic Lights Medicine

"I thanked my teacher for teaching us so well and she fainted."

"Let's discuss this feeling that you're always being blamed for bad golf scores!"

Bullfighting might be more widely accepted if it had a different name. They should call it "dodgebull"! (Published originally on April 27, 2015.)

Stay at home

'Shall we join the ladies?'

Lex Ave Express

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

Everyone knew it was a hideous style, but nothing was ever said.

Glass/Cans/Geriatrics.

Edith Wharton

'I see you've dressed to go clubbing.'

'A pint! Have you got any ID?'

Intentional Community vs. Community of Sheer Happenstance

",,,These job cuts will not affect patient care...."

"Oh God, beards are so passe."

Paparazzi at the Local Dump

Society for the vertically challenged: Our founder.

Don Pasquale sitting

"...and those are cheese and cucumber..."